Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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