I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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