We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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