i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
