its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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