Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
