4 words: hood of his car
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
