scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
