carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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