Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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