Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
