Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I want a musical about memes.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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