the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
