She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
