That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
