Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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