I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
