you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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