we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
