Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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