It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
