Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
