bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
