he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
