The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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