I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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