Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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