It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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