? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
that may or may not have been my penis.
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