Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
