I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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