why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
