Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
