Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i think i just lost a toe
I would ride that face into the sunset
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
