just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
