Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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