turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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