Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
