the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
porn star boner night. come get it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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