Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
