I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Randomize
