i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
