why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
