Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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