I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
