Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
