my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
