I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
