My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
