You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My vagina just recognized that song.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
